Tonight, I went to Ernie's birthday party at Planet Rose, a karaoke bar. Listening to a girl not-sing "Strokin' It", barely even trying, I told Ernie that I wanted to start a business coaching people who want to sing karaoke. Most likely people who have never done it before and are preparing for a Big Event (maybe a bachelorette party, as there seems to be one at Planet Rose every time I'm there).
Then, at the end of the night, after I exhaustedly sang my last song, one of the Bachelorette girls (who had earlier been humping her female friend, standing up on top of a couch) drunkenly pulled me aside to high-five me. Then, in the gruff way that I imagine Sinatra would have when dispensing advice to a young crooner, she said, "You're a great singer... but you need to work on that posture. Believe me, I've got it too... just watch it."
I didn't know what to say, so I just walked away. I know I don't always have great posture (AND I have scoliosis, guys, you feel me?). Which is especially bad for a teen-tiny like me. But hearing it made me feel like a dorky hunchbacked 6th-grader in headgear and pink leggings with stirrups (when everyone else someone knew that you NEVER buy the ones with stirrups).
It's funny how the thing you're obsessing about - in this case, the pimple on my forehead - is rarely the thing other people are noticing about you. It's either enough to make me quit obsessing forever, or quadruple it.
I guess that's what I get for making my snide karaoke-coaching comment.
BUT I WASN'T THE ONE HUMP-DANCING ON TOP OF THE COUCH.
I love everyone.
