Required Reading

I was going to make this post a scathing and/or insightful comparison of every blog I've ever had.
Then I realized that linking you to them would be entirely too much information about me to assemble in one place, and my flesh would turn clear and you would see my gizzards... my (dramatic pause) my Very INNARDS, like the Invisible Woman. As much as I enjoy enumerating my own embarrassments, as a great philosopher once said, "If you know everything about a person, what's the difference between them and you, besides your face?"

The premiere of the short film I was in is Monday night at the Pioneer Theater. I am mildly nervous. I only saw a rough cut of it, which was funny. It's called W.O.P. (Without Pimps), a fakeumentary about a female rap group. Apparently I only do projects about all-female musical groups.

You can see the music video from the film at:
http://www.minorapocalypse.com/PICTURES--WOP.html
Be patient, I swear it loads. Yes, I am in dreads in a wheelchair. And yes, that's Ainsley in the terrible wig and schmoopy attire. Send it to your friends and cause it to become an internet sensation.

Tonight Pearl Brunswick did the Pygmy Marmalade Show, which was tons of fun. Pygmy Marmalade and Gunshow PUNTED IT SO HARD. Am I wrong, or have we gotten the suggestion "nail salon" at least twice before?

Recently Overheard Conversations on the Way to Work:

Retarded Man #1 - Hey, how's your dog?
Retarded Man #2 - Oh, I think he's good, but I don't know. I wasn't taking good care of him and he had to be taken away.
Retarded Man #1-Oh... (pause)... Do dogs drink milk?
Retaded Man #2-Well, some do. If their owners give it to 'em.
Retarded Man #1-Oh. OK. (pause again) Do dogs eat people food?
Retarded Man #2-Well, some do. Really poor people can't afford dog food so they take the leftover table scraps and put them in the backyard for the dog to eat.
Retarded Man #1-Oh. (pause) Bye.

I'm not making fun of them. It was really a heartbreakingly sad, if unintentionally funny, conversation.

On the way to the bus-

Adorable Blond Tiny Girl, running with her mom: Mommy! Pigeons!
Mommy: Yes, pigeons! NOW SPRAY THEM!
Adorable Blond Tiny Girl whips out a spray bottle and starts maniacally spraying the pigeons.

Someone please come up with a reasonable explanation for that occurrence.